Why I Love Brits

Mostly, because they are funny. Their dry humor is my absolute favorite, and they will tell it to you straight (whether or not that is your preference). For example, I passed on dessert telling them I was trying to lose weight. "You should go to the gym," said the man. That won him a sharp jab in the ribs from his wife. I laughed. I like them because they will invite you to their house for "tea" when they really mean "dinner," and at said event they will serve you yorkshire pudding and you will feel quite proper indeed. I like them because they will tell you to go home when they are ready to go to bed and are tired of having company. I like them because they say "bin" when they mean trash, "boot" when they mean trunk, and sometimes you can't understand what they mean and you have to ask them to repeat themselves. Three times. And then they mutter "Yankee" under their breath. I especially like the 10-year-old variety. They tell you stories about their older sister who snogged her teacher (snogging is like making out). And they have funny conversations with you over text message, like the following:
Holly: Where are you Kimbley (this is how they pronounce my name)
Me: I'm on my way, I had to wait for my laundry to dry (I can't figure out how to use the washing machine in my apartment, so I had to use the common laundry room. I had a small altercation with a miserable excuse for a gentleman, and if I had not been running late, I probably would have gone back to my apartment for a pair of scissors and cut small holes in his underwear. I hope to never see him again.)
Holly: Ok only one person has arrived (it is a going away party for a mutual friend)
Me: (I didn't respond to this message because by now I was on the freeway, and texting while driving has never been pretty for me. Prettier than Blackberrying while driving, though.)
Holly: When you get here do you want to play a board game
Me: Sure
Holly: My mum says we can't
I pull up to their house a few minutes later, and Holly informs me that her mum told her she couldn't ring me, which is why she had decided on the texting. Clever girl. I love the British accent. And even British teeth. And I will forever be indebted to the Brits because they gave the world Cadbury chocolate--more specifically, those little candy coated chocolate eggs that I have to stockpile at Easter. My advice is this: Find some Brits to love. They will edify your life and bring you endless joy and neverending happiness. Especially if you live in a foreign desert and you need a surrogate family.