Driving = Vexation

"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers." Dave Barry

I will be the first to admit that I am not the world's best driver, and I am okay with that. (But I would like to point out that after living in NYC, I am a pretty dang good parallel parker--on both sides of those one-way streets.) Bahrainis will tell you that it is the Saudis who are the bad drivers, and while I will say that Saudis are definitely rude drivers, they don't have a monopoly on stupid driving. Let me enumerate for you why driving here is a source of great vexation in my life:

1. Rules do not apply. I would describe it as a very "creative" driving environment, which means that you have no idea what the person in front of you is going to do, and nothing surprises me anymore. I'm talking about crazy gap shooting, turning from the wrong lane, reversing down a main road when someone misses a turn, stopping in the middle of traffic to let a passenger out, and ignoring road signage. I have to admit that I have really embraced that last one. I only know how to get home from horseback riding lessons one way, and it happens to be down a road that is supposedly closed. I just pretend that I don't see that sign as I drive past.

2. One word: roundabouts. I hate them. I imagine that some of that hatred stems from the fact that roundabouts were not covered in California driver's ed, and I am not well versed in their proper usage. I did, however, pick up some tips based on all of the people honking at me at my first few attempts. I guess I'll chalk that one up to trial and error.

3. The mandatory seatbelt laws here only apply to the driver and the front seat passenger. Children are not required to wear seat belts or sit in car seats. Usually the kids are climbing all over the parents in the front seat, which does not lead to good driving practices. It is also extremely unsafe, and in my opinion not very responsible parenting.

4. There are no maps. I spent the first couple of weeks getting all sorts of lost. Then I started having my coworkers draw me maps. Some days I am amazed that the maps don't get me even more lost.
5. There are no road signs, and if they are, they are in the middle of the road. So if you turn right at the corner where you think you should, you will know if you were correct once you get about 5 miles down the road, and you finally see the sign. If a road does have a name, it is usually either the name of a Sheikh (the ruling family) or a number. But the numbers do not go in numberical order, and the Sheikhs unfortunately have names like Sheikh Mohammed Abdulla Khalifah Hussain IV. This does not make giving directions easy.

6. The traffic signals really throw me off. They use arrows here, and so you've got to pay attention to what direction you are going so you don't accidentally run a red light. They use the yellow light before both the red light and the green light, so when you see yellow, you never know if you should slow down or speed up.

7. I would estimate that about 80% of the roads here are under construction, and there are all kinds of detours and delays. The problem is not that they are trying to improve road conditions, but rather that they make a huge mess of the roads, and then just leave them for months. Here is a simple idea--why don't you finish one project before moving on to the next?

8. I suppose I shouldn't complain about the roads, where there are roads. There is a lot of dessert land, and the expectation is that you will just off-road your way to wherever you are going. My horseback riding lessons are back by those trees, and it is quite the adventure to get there in the dark.

9. The parking etiquette here leaves much to be desired. One day last week I walked out to the parking lot to leave for the day, and found the following. Some Lexus had blocked me in. And this is not the first time this has happened to me. A few weeks before a huge SUV blocked me in at the grocery store. Getting free involves a lot of waiting patiently, or a trip to the security office with the license plate number in hand.

10. I think the parking situation here is bad enough that it deserves a second mention. As you can see below, it is fair game to park anywhere there isn't already a car, including sidewalks. By the end of the day, this sidewalk will be 3-deep.